It was for the better that it ended, really, because nothing could have come out of it. Still; I can’t deny that you left me broken. I wonder every day why you never gave me a chance. You were scared, I know, but why ME? Of all people in the world you could have been with, you chose and reached out to ME. I think that’s what kills me the most out of all of this.
Ever since I came out of the closet, I’ve dreamed about that ONE boy who would sweep me off my feet. Call me a girl, I’d agree with you… When I was still all torn up about my parents’ divorce I tried to convince myself that love didn’t exist. Since then, the idea of “true love” has never really left my head. Actually, it seems I can never STOP thinking about it… I WANT love, I WANT a real relationship; you couldn’t have given that to me. You weren’t ready; you were scared and curious. You told me that what we shared meant nothing to you, and even so, what we shared meant a LOT to me. You were my first, and I would have let you be my only. Oh well.
I ask myself everyday why I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve tried to talk to other guys, and there’s no interest anymore. I can’t trust anyone anymore, and as much as I wanna blame YOU for it, I can’t blame anybody but myself. In the whole scheme of things, it was ME who allowed you in, ME who believed you, and ME who ignored the possibility that this would happen.
Even though I wanted to, I never cried over you. I knew it was too good to be true.